F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 11:10 PM

i did not go to ACL this year (haven't since the inaugural one in 94,) so i missed all the merriment caused by Mother Nature there.
How should we plan ahead for the worst while hoping for the best, in light of Her utter indifference to our festival?

A kit of some kind will be useful should the worst befall; possible contents are as henceforth:

FUNFUNFUN FEST SURVIVAL KIT



  • Umbrella, collapsible

  • Parasol

  • Pair of Wellington Boots

  • Pair of Sandals

  • Pair of Steel-Toed Boots

  • GPS Coordinate Device

  • Compass

  • Flashlight

  • First Aid Kit

  • Morphine Ampules (for strictly medical emergencies)

  • Prophylactics (you never know)

  • Wild Oats

  • Transistor Radio (in case satellites knocked out by solar winds)

  • Extra pair of socks

  • Trenchcoat

  • Wife Beater

  • Gas Mask

  • Aluminum Foil and Duct Tape (Masking Tape will do)

  • X Ray Specs

  • Night Vision Goggles

  • Beer Goggles

Replies to This Posting

  1. RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 11:12 PM

    (Cont.)

  2. Beer Helmet

  3. Shovel, Tarp, and 3 to 4 fifty lb. bags of Lime

  4. Binoculars

  5. Spare Undies

  6. Dirty Laundry (aired)

  7. Skeletons (from the closet)

  8. Kwisatz Haderach

  9. The Lament Configuration

  10. Those Tennis Racket looking shoes Inuits wear.

  11. 10' Pole

  12. 30' of rope

  13. Funyuns

  14. Opium Suppositories

  15. Laxative

  16. Anti-Bacterial Hand Lotion

  17. Tourniquets (at least four)

  18. Speak And Spell

  19. Toblerone

  20. The Memory Of Your First Kiss

  21. Inflatable Raft

  22. Crowd Surf Board

  23. Certain Unalienable Rights

  24. Trix

  25. Yo Imma Let You Finish, BUT BEYONCE HAD THE BEST FFF FEST FORUM POST OF ALL TIME

  26. Bubble Tape

  27. Tin Foil Hat

  28. Top Hat and Tails

  29. Roflcopters

  30. Grandpa Guitars (for firewood)

  31. Electric Guitars (to start a new utopia, a la Wyld Stallyns)

  32. Time-Traveling Phone Booth/Police Box

  33. 11 Highly Specialized, Experienced Bank Robbers

  34. Series of Tubes

  35. The Annihilatrix

  36. I and I

  37. The Bomb Dot Com

  38. Herd Of Nerfs

  39. 'Show Me Where He Touched You' Doll

  40. Holy Water (almost forgot)

  41. Conch (sucks to your assmar)

  42. The irrepressible willpower to gather the survivors together, form a vanguard to scout for food and shelter, while the rest guard the weak and infirm, until we get a foothold in the territory and manage to become self-sufficient, all the while preparing to brave the first nuclear winter humanity has ever known, and in the spring to begin the task of repopulating the human race.

  43. Pepto Bismol



  44. Any other must-have items i might have missed for an apocalypse of fun????

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Wed, Oct 7, 2009 at 12:38 AM

    I believe the proper nomenclature is a "gaggle of nerfs"

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Thu, Oct 8, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    All I'm bringing is my ghetto booty, my rock face and my massive biceps.

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 7:56 PM

    I think Henry Chinaski should get at least 100 points for the extensive list. Well thought out, and some are quite useful.;)

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Wed, Nov 4, 2009 at 4:07 PM

    lithographette wrote:
    All I'm bringing is my ghetto booty, my rock face and my massive biceps.


    Ghetto booties are a must. A good ghetto booty alleviates the need for an umbrella.

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    Dust mask
    Beer
    Pizza
    More beer
    Beer
    Beer
    Beeeeeer




    That's all I need. And my sleazy persona.
    It ain't easy bein sleazy

  • RE: F^3 FEST SURVIVAL KIT

    Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 9:39 AM

    The One and Only Sean Noxious wrote:
    Dust mask
    Beer
    Pizza
    More beer
    Beer
    Beer
    Beeeeeer




    That's all I need. And my sleazy persona.
    It ain't easy bein sleazy



    I gotta pace myself. Don't wanna barf after riding the mechanical bull !!!