a life never meant to be lived
A moment of clarity, his eyes fixed upon the existence which he had chosen. A mystifying experience, to watch one’s self live a life never meant to be lived. It was lost, long ago when he had made the deal that left him with nothing to feel. Yet as swift as it came, the clarity is to be lost again. It vanishes with all the other past instances when you felt that you had some sort of grasp on what this world was really about. He savored them, the complex occurrences which needed no explanation. The down side, when these instances occur reality comes crashing back harder than ever. He wanted it, that is he wished it to be different. The patch which he did follow, blindly led to depths that he wished he had not seen. One man, how much can he take of this insane world we live in? had it really happened, his mind tried to raise its voice above the body that restrained it.it would never be hear, his mind had learned to hold its tongue in obedience when clarity did show its mystic ways. Reality would return to him soon, another crash of fear that would consume him if he would let it. However, it would not and he would not let it have him. There was something in him that grounded him, made him aware yet impervious to the reality which he lived and had chosen long ago. It was his decision, and there was no turning back now. He would have to face this reality eventually, he would have to give in and be brought down by the harsh truths of his choice. He would one day submit, but not this day.