I May Dig Danzig, but ol' Danzig Don't Dig Me
Allow me to enter the Danzig hug-fest. Being a huge fan of 'ol Mighty-Me from back in the day, I had yet to ever meet the Dark One in person. Enter the Winter of '95 (or was it '96...?), when Glenn and his merry men were playing the inaugural OzzFest (the one that only played CA and AZ). Mr. Danzig was going to do a signing the day before, so I thought...hey, why not get all my Danzig stuff signed? Pretty good idea. And while I'm at it, why not have him sign my Misfits coffin-box? Pretty terrible idea. After waiting in line for 4.5 hours, I finally made it into the record store, bird-dogged by what seemed an inordinate amount of concerned and bug-eyed clerks. To give some idea of their measure of concern, imagine me walking into a Tower Records strapped with enough weapons-grade plutonium to light up Jupiter. Finally, one particularly brave soul (who I knew couldn't be a regular, since he was wearing a red shirt) approached and, pointing to my boxset, reverently intoned: "He will not sign that." Fair enough, I thought...things being what they were, I certainly wasn't going to push the issue...after all, getting the master of darkness to sign my 4P and Lucifuge albums was good enough for me. Making my way to the front, finally, I was confronted with a very tired-looking, but otherwise formidible Glenn Danzig. He graciously took and signed my albums (and yes, one was vinyl...plus, I just like the word...album), before he noticed the boxset surreptiously tucked beneath my arm. At that point, all 4 ft whatever of Evil Elvis came from behind the signing table and threatened to rearrange every part of my body into new and interesting arrangements. I was shuffled out by terrified clerks before punches could be thrown but, in retrospect, it would have been the pinnacle of my young life to have sported a shiner by one of my all-time favorite frontmen. It never came to that, unfortunately, but to this day, I still smile whenever I see my coffin-boxset. Next time ol' Glenn signs, though, I'll just leave the damn thing at home.