My football fantasy
It is November 1st, 2009 and the Minnesota Vikings are "playing" the Green Bay Packers at the most hallowed of football stadiums, Lambeau Field. It is the end of the fourth quarter, and that leathery, indecisive wrangler jeans wearing tractor driver, Brett Favre, throws one of his patented "what the hell?" passes in an attempt to dig his second adopted team out of a hole. Unexpectedly, his entire arm detaches itself along with the ball, and he falls on the green, exsanguinating, as the pig skin, still gripped by the sensodyne users hand, spirals towards Vikings receiver Percy Harvin. Packer's defensive lineman Johnny Jolly steps in, intercepts the pass and runs it back for a touchdown, sealing a strong Packer's victory. The already gory game takes an especially macabre turn when during his Lambeau Leap the green and gold faithfull tear Brett's limb from his hands and rend the flesh in a display worthy of George Romero. The EMS declare #4 "R.O.A." (retired on arrival.) The Packers go on to win the superbowl for the next 100 years. Shellac decides to play the halftime show, and my birthday party.