Okay so I got this date with a guy I met through myspace, or at least I think it’s a date but by the end of the night it sure didn’t feel like one. I mean I didn’t have much time and it was sort of spontaneous. We had been texting over the weekend and through out the rest of the week. He asked me out to lunch that same day and well I was in dorky work clothes so naturally I was like no. I guess you can call him persistent because he continued to go ahead and ask me out to dinner and I was like okay.
Dinner wasn’t until seven so that meant I had two hours after work to go find some descent clothes to wear at the mall. Obviously, I couldn’t find anything that I really felt confident in but I settled for some black slim jeans and this fitted red graphic shirt. The new clothes worked out but all I had for shoes were these black dress boots that I wear to work everyday. It made me feel rather butch and I wore these aviator wannabe shades which turned out to be a cool last minuet outfit.
So we met up at a this nice restaurant that he happened to work at which at first I thought all his worker friends are going to be there but I said sure I guess, why not, the attention could be welcoming. We sit down and his friend the waiter appears to be easy-going and friendly so I bite doing my best to ask questions and say something funny. Then he, not the the waiter, suggest I have an Italian margarita and upgrade the shot with patron and extra shot of amaretto on the side. Like a true alchy I agree to it. Then she ask if we want an appetizer and I am looking but really don’t see anything appealing, I try not to eat too much plus I really wasn’t all to hungry but wanting a drink or two and mingle. I decided to be a good boy and have dinner for once.
He proceeds to look at me sying you should try this some thing or other and I’m like sounds good. The waitress is like okay good but he gives me this crazy look. How could I describe this look of his, um a look as if you swallowed a jalapeño but got stuck in your throat giving you this cock eyed stare someone with a stroke was stuck with. I was like what? He was all what are you looking at and I’m like you and your weird looking face but of course I didn’t tell him that. I think he was trying to be funny in his own kind of way.
So the margarita comes and I am a little nervous I guess you can say going on a blind-ish date-tish so I down that drink in like 15 minutes. Who knows maybe I drink like that all the time and don’t have to be nervous but it was so damn good. Anyways, we order our entrees and the appetizer comes and it was good and great and all that jazz. I start to get that “I feel good” feeling after my margaritas hit the blood stream.
I do my best to be funny with my sarcastic humor, his friends/coworkers came to talk to us and I try to be social and fun despite the pressure of being on this date-ish thing and meeting all these new people. Did I mention the bus boy that came to talk to us was tall, dark, and hot, if only, sigh.
Anyways, they leave and it’s just me and him and conversations stop. So I’m trying everything to keep the awkwardness from drowning the tempo by asking about his jobs and his time out of state. Sadly it was very disappointing and boring. We ate and so I was like I am so ready to get the heck out of here but then he ask if we could take a walk in the park. "Shit no!" I said to myself and I give some lame excuse that its ghetto there and really hot outside so he ask if I wanted to go to the mall which happened to be where his second job was and I was like great, I think he is trying to show me off to all of his friends. It was flattering but eh not that entertaining. I didn’t know what excuse to give right then in there because I was too distracted in thought about what exactly was going on here so I agreed to go.
It gets time pay the for bill that he doesn’t offer to pay. All well, by this point he’s in the negative for points on the dating scoreboard but to top it off the waitress ask on whose ticket does she put the appetizer on and we both look at each other saying "not mine." She is standing there looking at us look at each other and finally I’m like split it if you can. Shit dude.
So we get to the mall and he’s flaunting me here and there of course, I should have predicted it. Fortunately his friends were more entertaining than him. By this point I’m tired, bored, and annoyed. I have trouble with carrying my feelings on my shoulders so he tells me you look bored and I’m like, you think? Thank goodness the mall was closing. However, he still wants to go walk in the park and I’m like I got a bed time buddy I need to deuce. So I say chow and ttyl. Ugh, complete waste of time and I wasn’t even hungry. I guess you hit and miss before you hit a good one.
Another one bites the dust….